By Tracy Brighten

A poem in the style of restaurant discourse to highlight the plight of New Zealand’s native birds

Although native birds are no longer (officially) eaten in New Zealand, I appeal to the reader’s sense of taste, while simultaneously stirring repulsion of how wild birds are killed.

Native birds are facing increasing threats from non-native predators such as possums, rats, stoats, cats and dogs, and also from human impacts of hunting, longline fishing, overfishing, oil spills, free-roaming pets, and careless use of beaches and cars.

Free Range to End of Range

While stocks last,
Choose from our menu of free-range birds,
Sourced from the wild.

To Start
Stitchbird soup with garlic croutons

For Main

A little cautious, try
Mature Tui tossed in cats-up sauce with fries
Silvereye on Cat’s Tongue Cookie with cranberry coulis
Peppered Pukeko served with Huntsman’s relish
Poached South Island Kaka caged in lattice pastry
Sole on scrambled Dotterel eggs with wine reduction
Car-grilled Blue Penguin in squash surprise.

More audacious, try
Australasian Gannet wings drenched in oil on sea-salt couscous
Line-caught Royal Albatross with crispy seaweed
Rare Fairy Tern with poached eggs steeped in sorrel jus
Sun-dried Yellow-eyed Penguin with bitter-sweet squid garnish
North Island Kiwi bled overnight served shredded on forest leaves
Medallions of Moa cooked to extinction.

To Finish
Our speciality dessert – Death by Complacency.

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Image credit: Tui in Kowhai tree by Sy on Flickr   (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)